It’s Not Rude to Be Happy

Today’s post is a client story that we all need to read. And read again. It’s time to start bringing each other up instead of tearing each other (and ourselves) down.

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Through the Lean in ’16 nutrition program, I have come to the realization that it is time to stop over- empathizing with others’ unhappiness with their health, body image and relationships by minimizing my own.

I’ve realized I don’t lack confidence, but I do have a super active sense of empathy. I avoid making others feel uncomfortable by playing down many of the positive things in my life.

I turned 50 on Monday and it is well-past time to give up over-worrying about what others think and feel.

Happiest of birthdays to this AMAZING woman. She achieved her goal of 5 chin-ups by age 50! Anita is a true inspiration…wait 'til you read her whole story on the blog tomorrow! 👏💪👌🎉5️⃣0️⃣🎉👌💪👏

A post shared by Skill of Strength (@skillofstrength) on Nov 1, 2016 at 9:52am PDT

 

There is no need to:

• Keep secret the fact that I participated in this group
• Avoid mentioning I’m happy I lost 6 pounds in 6 weeks and learned even more healthy eating habits
• Downplay the fact that I hit my goal of being able to do 5 chin ups
• Hide that I’m crazy in love with my husband

My other, related, realization is that giving this behavior up actually might help others, not hurt them. This is something I never really expected.

I have a friend who said that my relationship with Mark inspired her to put more effort into her marriage. This only happened after I stopped bonding with her over negative things about men/husbands, because it didn’t feel true to me, and focused instead on my love for Mark.

I now realize that modeling a happy marriage and healthy lifestyle can show others that these things are possible. I noticed that it is hard work to empathize without giving in to negativity, but if others choose to be envious or resentful of these positive things, that’s not my problem.

It’s not rude to be happy.

Skill of Strength is a place that supports all of this. All bodies are welcome, everyone is encouraged to work hard and everyone is supported. There are women my age and older that are committed and unapologetic about being strong, healthy women. I love this. And you, Amanda, are an excellent role model. You do not hesitate to share your accomplishments at getting stronger and the work it takes to do so. You unapologetically take time for self care, share generous recipes for healthy foods and openly celebrate taking time for your family and for you and Mike to keep your marriage solid. You do not hold back because others might envy you. Instead you show that with focus, effort and commitment that this is possible – not easy, but possible. It may seem like a no-brainer to you but, really, this is inspiring to me.

(Note from Amanda: ALL. THE. TEARS. And thank you!)

So, thank you. Six weeks later, I am a bit lighter, a bit stronger, more knowledgeable about which macros work best for me right now, more focused on eating slowly and I even drink water!

Plus, I have new focus – from now on I will openly celebrate more and minimize my success and happiness less. This old habit will take some time for me to change, but it can only start with the realization that it needs to happen.

So, happy 50th to me…it’s about time. 🙂